Fifty and Furthermore's Blog

Mad Men Is Not The Sopranos For Me

Well, after fighting it, and ignoring the show for one entire year, I followed the hype and settled down determined to become a fan of AMC's Mad Men. I liked it well enough and the tales were familiar to me. After all, it's an era I know. But mostly, I was slightly bored.

I think that although I related to the both the times and the characters, my own life has developed into so many new spins, that I became a bit restless with what had been. No, it wasn't painful to watch the past. It was simply long distant for me to much care. However, I wished my grown kids could see it (I'm doubtful that they would sit through the program) to understand an era they don't truly comprehend. They have no way of understanding the life their parents lived and the freedom of choice the current generation has as a result of the emancipation from those years. I'm slightly disappointed, but not so much that I won't try again. Who knows, the slow pace may manage to lure me in. So far, HBO's interaction and psychology programs remain my favorites (The Sopranos, Tell Me You Love Me, and In Treatment). For my personality, they hit a bull's eye.

Enough about Paris Hilton already! Well, maybe just one more blog...

As a psychologist I am fascinated by family dynamics.  One of the major reasons an individual may choose to come into therapy is to decide to break a conscious or unconscious family pattern or chain of events.  With the Ricky/Kathy/Nicky/Paris Hilton family, we easily see how parental values helped define those of their children.

Read below.

Paris makes a splash, Mom may make cash

"Paris Hilton displayed her two talents - looking good and promoting herself - in Hawaii yesterday, a week after her L.A. jail stint. But as the hotel heiress chilled, her mother, Kathy Hilton, launched a line of spa products. An announcement touting the line calls Kathy - not Paris - a 'global icon.' So did Paris' mom achieve icon status waiting outside the pokey for her daughter? No! 'Having traveled the world with her famous family ... Ms. Hilton knows a thing or two on the importance of an anti-aging regimen to help you look your best,' the announcement says...."

What I find even more interesting is how the public is glued the Hilton family antics. People of all ages seem to be addicted to and even applaud so-called bad behavior. Is it because it’s a way of acting out their own secret wishes?  Do parents pay attention to learn how to help their children (daughters) become cash cows like Paris? Do they stay tuned because they can feel superior as their less public, better behaved college-bound daughters stay and don’t stray from society’s more publicly acceptable norms?  Or are there those few who, as Elisabeth Hasselbeck pointed out on The View, "want to discipline [their] child before the criminal justice system does”?

(Read more about how Kathy Hilton herself supposedly wants young people to learn from her daughter's errs.)

Of one thing I am sure: we live in a society in conflict between prudish and prurient values, and the more extreme the polarity, the more there will be those who appear puritanical, who find themselves acting out or at least wishing to act out their “bad boy" or "wild girl” sides.  When I think of life that way, I’m glad I’m a psychologist and at least in the sanctity of my office I’m able to live in a world where talk and fantasy are part of the rules of the game and honest verbiage is usually rewarded by people becoming happier, choosing the lives they want and almost always having less need to remain in an internally divided camp.  I wish we had fewer stigmas and more acceptances for the field I value and love. Good psychotherapy usually helps heal internal wars. Perhaps with fewer internal conflicts, real wars can be minimized? A bit pollyannish perhaps? But that's for another blog...

Saging on screen

I watched Boston Legal for the first time the other night. I found it realistic and psychologically astute. I had especially tuned in to watch Candace Bergen who has grown with her age beautifully. She has always portrayed characters her own age and done them great justice - in this case literally! What actors or actresses do you admire for demonstrating saging and embracing who they have become with each passing year? What shows do you recommend I check out that also focus on saging, rather than stereotyping those over 50? I welcome your suggestions!