Robert Hawkins has now put an otherwise unknown Omaha Mall on the map by killing seven people before he killed himself. His name can now be added to Cho Seung-Hui who has forever changed the image of the bucolic campus of Virginia Tech, John Allen Muhammad and John Lee Malvo who terrorized Washington, DC, killing twenty one innocents in their killing spree, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold who marked the quiet Colorado town of Columbine with blood, and we may as well toss in Timothy McVeigh whose murder of 168 lives was the deadliest act of terrorism within our borders until 9/11.
All of these killers were troubled men with histories of feeling alienated, depressed, angry and other internal psychological dynamics. Several lashed out at society and in their rage sought suicide/murder as a way to have their 15 minutes of media fame. I don’t think increased psychological diagnosis is all that is needed. If anything, the scariest truth is that the nice kid next door could be your next killer, or even more horrifying, that next criminal could be your own kid. (Don’t cringe and say “no.” Listen to me, I am right.) With today’s hyperactive world and our increasingly busy lives, no one can watch all troubled teenagers or ex vets or their seemingly nice neighbors next door all the time. Killing sprees will continue to happen. And as long as there is media attention, copy cat killings will increase.
So someone is depressed or feels alienated or needs a more stable family environment... Big deal! Although, with more awareness and greater vigilance, some horrifying killing sprees can be contained, we can’t stop all. Our world is moving too fast for us to contain all the loose cannons. Get used to it. This is America today. If you keep watching TV and reading print news, you will have to learn to live with the terrifying truth that bad things do happen to good people, and that you or your loved ones may very well find yourselves one day in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So what can you do?
Love deeply and passionately all those you truly care about now and every day. Be in the moment and don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is too precious not to reach out and love. And just in case you've forgotten lately to reach out to those you love: Make love, hug your kids. Do something nice for a neighbor or those in need.
Remember that you are not alone in feeling overwhelmed. Talk about your feelings within your family and to your friends. Don’t be afraid to cry and to be angry. If talking isn't your strong suit, try expressing yourself through sports or other physical activity, music, writing, or art. Helplessness is not a fun feeling. Use your emotions to be helpful to those in need. Action makes you feel powerful and more in charge. Helping others helps you.
Don’t isolate yourself or stop living your life all together. Though the unexpected can happen, keeping a positive outlook on your life and keeping as normal a schedule as possible helps you feel sane, functioning and in control. Everyone needs some kind of anchor. Routines can be that anchor.
Reach out for spiritual connections if you have a strong faith, and get in touch with others of your own faith or your spiritual advisors to help work through some of your issues. If you do not have a faith system but have spiritual values, try to connect with those who might share your values and begin talking.
Focus on maintaining physical health. Try to eat regular meals, take daily vitamins, engage in some physical exercise and get rest. Mental distress takes a physical toll on your body.
Learn all you can about the reactions you are having. It often helps to know what physical and mental reactions are common after a killing spree. If your anxieties persist, try short-term therapy, counseling or a support group. There are also many organizations and agencies that can provide you with additional materials, referrals to resources, or counseling assistance. Even the Internet, used with care, can provide helpful hits about how to cope.
Turn off the TV and in spite of my advice to keep a normal schedule, shopping on line sure seems appealing right now.
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