A few months back, TIME Magazine printed an article titled The War Over Going Gray (read the article here) which basically contained the same "aging gracefully" babble that makes me so frustrated. In fact this particular article got me so agitated that I took the time to write a letter to the editor with my thoughts on the article. Unfortunately, TIME didn't select my cogent and insightful (I thought) response as worthy of their print, so I am posting my thoughts here for you to read instead:
While I applaud TIME Magazine for being in sync with today's "mature" conflicts, I suggest that the boomer issue is far more than to be, or not to be, gray. We over fifty are stuck between presenting our wise authentic selves, and the desire to be forever young. Of those over fifty whose unlined faces you use as examples in “The War Over Going Gray,” I am sure at least several have been "tweaked." Cosmetic procedures for both men and women are on the rise. According to the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, since 1997 the overall number of cosmetic procedures has increased 444% with well over 11.5 million surgical and non-surgical procedures performed in the US each year.
I listen to the Gray Wars daily in my psychotherapy practice for those who are FiftyandFurthermore. From the postmen to the pundits I work with, we are all in this boat together. While psychologically we want to age as Sages, having benefited from our years on earth, most of us also want to appear as attractive (read youthful) as possible. I admit to struggling with this issue myself. It's not just the desire to stay fit that keeps me committed to my Pilates, yoga and exercise routine. I want to look good. As we age, we find that no matter how well we may present our external selves, our bodies still develop aches and pains.
Aging gracefully is garbage! It takes effort to keep up those doctor appointments, flossing, vitamins, etc. It's a complex task to age, gray or not. The consumer media tell us we should look as good as we feel. The truth is that most boomers are deeply conflicted about how to appear to the world. Do I demonstrate my wisdom through hard-earned gray hair? Am I letting down my true self by buying into the youth oriented beauty industry? With more than half of the population over the age of fifty by 2010, perceptions will change. Baby boomers have always shaped the world, and they will continue to do so, once they figure out exactly how they want to live. But just how remains to be seen.
Dorree Lynn, PhD
Psychologist, Author
Editor in Chief of www.FiftyandFurthermore.com
It would be interesting if you could provide some insight on why you color your hair.
My wife doesn't have a choice - she is extremely allergic to any black dye (even a felt marker.) So she HAD to go gray. She would have preferred to have the choice.
A couple boomer women blog buddies are gray.
Marti Barletta is on a program about marketing to boomers in New York, she's gray.
Anecdotally, looks like a trend to me.
Posted by: GoingLikeSixty | November 05, 2007 at 08:15 PM